Off-Topic My Neighbor Insulted Me

[Gams]

One thing I know for certain after reading this thread is that I’m never going to witness these types of comments again and not speak up. I’m usually so shocked and don’t know what to say and I’ve grown up trying not to hurt people’s feelings, but I don’t know why I should worry about the feelings of rude, insensitive people.

[Vantreesta]

It just floors me the mean things people will say to others. There is no excuse for it but as others have mentioned sometimes men don't think about comments having emotional impact. I know the issue is not as simple as this, but I blame a lot of it on social media. The more time we spend on these platforms, the less in tune we become to others' feelings, in my opinion. Again, I know the issue is more complicated than that, I just feel it's a big contributor.

I don't know how I would have reacted in your shoes. I would have WANTED to land a roundhouse on his head and let my dog do his business on the guy's yard! But I doubt I would ever actually do that. Just know you are doing good things for yourself, be proud of your hard work and accomplishments and ignore people who can't say smthg positive!

And while I generally agree with dogs sensing things about people we may not pick up on, this is not foolproof. My brother is one of the nicest, calmest, most laid-back animal-loving guys you could meet and my dog hates him. Like I-want-to-tear-your-hand-off hates him. From the first time they met. We have no idea why, can only assume he was abused by a very tall man before we adopted him (my dog, not my brother ).

[Vantreesta]

Originally Posted by fanofladyvols

Wellll
You could offer him toilet paper to wipe the crap coming out of his mouth...

Linda, you sound like my Dad!

He once asked a horrible woman if she needed Preparation H bc she was a pain in the butt!

[TracyQ]

Originally Posted by Tugger31

My first thought was I would've smacked him with my paddle!!

Dogs are smart animals was my second thought. Smarter than most men, obviously.


Good for you for getting back out there! I had spinal surgery in October and gained almost 10 lbs and lost alot of my upper body strength and tone as well. I'm still slowly regaining my strength and it's been 9 months. If someone would have said that to me at any point in my life I would have cried, but especially after surgery when I was already well aware of what I looked like. He doesn't deserve the time of day and I wouldn't worry about how that might affect your relationship with this couple. Maybe his wife doesn't like him either!

Keep working at it, the strength will come back!

Thanks Tugger. I’m so happy that your surgery was successful and that you are regaining your strength. I spent almost 8 weeks sleeping in a recliner with my arm in a sling. He’s retired and would see me in my husband’s winter coat (only thing that would fit with the huge sling) walking around the neighborhood so it’s not like he didn’t know I had surgery.

[TracyQ]

Originally Posted by amoodygirl

I'm so sorry that fool made such offensive and disgusting comments. Bet he wouldn't have said that to a man!

With that said, a little story. When we moved back from San Diego, with the move, job search, house search, my fitness went temporarily down the tubes. I put on some weight, I wasn't muscular as I usually was, etc. The family had an 85th birthday party for my father-in-law. One of the guests, longtime friends of my in-laws, came over to me and said, "Oh my god - what happened to sexy Diane? You got fat!" I was so offended, so humiliated - I cried and went home.

Fast forward 2 months - the same family friend was running like a madwoman for a train on Long Island and was hit by the train - killed instantly. I'm ashamed to say I still don't feel sad about it. But that's my issue. When my mother-in-law and I were talking about the whole thing, I said to her, jokingly, "See - this is what happens when you insult someone unjustly. Karma gets you. Just remember that."

Wow Diane. That woman was awful. I cannot believe how cruel people can be. I really wish everyone would just stop commenting on people’s appearances.

[TracyQ]

I’ve read every post and wish I had the time to reply to more. I’m a fiercely private person so it was difficult for me to start this thread but I feel a lot better now. You guys are so insightful and witty.

I decided that I am going to social distance myself from my neighbor and if he asks why I will remind him of what he said. I’m 56 years old and not going to give him the chance to talk to me like that again.

[deineira]

Originally Posted by warriorprincess

Don't let the words of a little man have that much power over you. You were doing what everyone here admires, living your best life and getting stronger. His approval is not needed.

Wisest words in this thread.

[TracyQ]

Originally Posted by deineira

Wisest words in this thread.

I agree but unfortunately it’s always been something that I struggle with.

Thank you for the wise words Princess Warrior and Deineira for pointing them out.

[Scorpio6]

Typical male stupidity about the way men talk to women.

Instead of being hurt or polite I would have let him have it with more of a rebuttal response than he was expecting. And I'll bet that's the last time that would happen, plus I would have done him a favor by raising his consciousness. But then I'm a Scorpio.

[deineira]

Originally Posted by TracyQ

I agree but unfortunately it’s always been something that I struggle with.

Thank you for the wise words Princess Warrior and Deineira for pointing them out.

It's hard to ignore obnoxious people who say and do hurtful things. I totally get that! This advice really resonated for me because it's the gift that keeps on giving. Once you can get to a point where someone else's shortcomings don't dim your light, it's such a freeing place to be. It's easy to say and so very hard to do, but it's ultimate freedom over other people's meanness and ignorance. Avoiding him also works.