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Old 02-25-20, 10:41 AM  
Lori_Michigan
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Piggybacking to the "Where did we go" thread -- perimenopause help/advice please

I noticed a common theme to the "Where did we go" thread -- many of us are in the thick of perimenopause.

I've been commenting in other threads about my past year full of health problems, and how I've now realized a lot of them are probably due to the literal hell I've experienced with peri.

I don't have anyone IRL who is near my age (46) that I can talk to about it, and my mom and aunts all sailed through it just fine. But I certainly have not:

I have now gained 25 pounds plus (all in stomach and breasts) in the past year and a half. My pant size went up two sizes, and my bra size went up two sizes and two cup sizes. I suffer terrible swelling every day (afternoon/evening) and it's much worse right before my period, but since that is now quite erratic (previous cycle was 27 days, this past one was 47 days) I am pretty much just living in constant PMS. I have had really bad headaches most of my life, but now I've tracked them to right before my period, and then days 3 and 6 and 10. I have bizarre nerve issues, digestion issues, brain fog, hair loss, very heavy bleeding, and many vitamin deficiencies. I've had numerous blood work in the past year, and my FSH last year was only 30 (which is deemed "low" so no where near the FSH level of someone close to true menopause when it goes sky high).

I've also recently started having odd feelings every day between 3 pm and around 8 pm (which coincide with the swelling). I sometimes just get quite angry at that time, and sometimes some hot flashes while trying to cook dinner. I also have a hard time digesting food now. Sleep can be challenging, and also night sweats are now beginning to be a problem. I've turned very antisocial, and barely have enough energy on weekends to keep up with my family. I have turned very inward and pretty much obsessed with my daily symptoms (pretty much waiting for the other shoe to drop since I had two blood clots last year and gallbladder surgery and IBS and anemia) and just trying to feel better every day. I had started back to slowly working out, and then this long cycle kicked my butt and I'm back to square one yet again.

I have literally tried everything in the past two years, and nothing has worked (diet, supplements, etc). Oddly, when I try to eat clean (that is, less sugar, less carbs, more veggies/fruits, like a normal person), I get horrendous headaches and increased body swelling, or if I increase the intensity or weights in my workouts, all the same symptoms get worse. I gained 4 pounds last week alone. I look at pictures from just two summers ago, and I was in the best shape of my life! It's just utterly depressing. It just seems like what works for everyone else is the opposite for me.

Here's where I'd love some advice: for those who have made it through to the other side, how long did your really bad peri symptoms last? What were they, and did they subside at all before the end? Has anyone successfully lost any of this peri weight while still having periods? or does it simply not budge until true meno? Did your symptoms get worse toward the end? If so, what if anything helped?

I know we can't talk diet, and since I've literally tried everything, and I have multiple vitamin deficiencies, there's not much that I can do in that regard. I also can't take any HRT or bioidenticals due to my blood clotting issues (now off all blood thinners though) so I'm just on my own with diet and exercise.

Please tell me anything that worked, or didn't work, and how long your perimenopause lasted, or how long it was from your horrible symptoms to your last period. I know just hearing other women's stories sometimes gives those of us in the thick of it some hope that it won't always be like this! I've gone back through old perimenopause threads and I couldn't find anything more recent than 2018, so perhaps some who were in the thick of it then could lend some advice. I'd also love to hear from anyone currently also in perimenopause hell and what your symptoms are, and what you're doing about them, or just living through them.
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Old 02-25-20, 11:37 AM  
Demeris
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
My perimenopause started with sleeping issues when I was 48/49. I had my first hot flash at 51, then a second one a year later.

Also at 51, I started having deep, disturbing depression the day before my period. When I talked to my doctor, she offered to put me on Prozac. I told her that I knew my issue was hormonal and didn't want that chemistry in my body the other 29 days of my cycle. She shrugged her shoulders. SO I soldiered on, knowing that day would be heck on wheels. In fact, I often took that day as a sick day because I didn't want anyone to see me in such despair.

At 53, I started having hot flashes, wild, lengthy hot flashes, sometimes 12 and 15 a day. I also had some real fatigue, but I think that was diet-related. I believe that during that time I had unwittingly eliminated too many minerals from my diet.


I'm editing to add that I had to give up caffeine. I see now that it had a profoundly deleterious effect on my sleeping. I've been a coffee drinker since I was 3 years old, so giving up caffeine was tantamount to giving up my very identity. But in the 4 or 5 years since I stopped drinking my daily coffee, I fall asleep easily and stay asleep.

OH, and I refused hormones, even the bio-identical hormones. I come from a long line of long-lived women. I had faith that my body could go through the change naturally. And it did.

At 55, I packed on some weight. I'm not sure how much, but I went up two sizes. The hot flashes started to subside to where I only had them at night. And they woke me up. Well, they woke me up when I had been able to get to sleep. My periods also got sporadic, one every two or three months (and I had been a moon-clock for 40+ years)

I had my last period the month before I turned 56.

I started sleeping soundly at 58. And I get hot flashes now only a couple of time a week, usually just before I need to get up for the day.

The weight came off, slowly. Oh. So. Slowly. And it came off by watching what I ate. I am reconciled to the fact that, at one month shy of 63, I will have to watch what I eat for the rest of my life. Oh, and my energy levels are slowly returning, too.

So what worked for me was patience, prayer, journaling, and getting my eating in order so that it would nourish my aging body. I wish I had gotten my eating in order when I was in the worst throes of perimenopause. I believe it would have eased many of my symptoms.
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Old 02-25-20, 12:16 PM  
mamaste
 
Join Date: May 2008
I’m not on the other side yet. I can relate to some of what you’re experiencing. I’ve been following Amanda Thebe on social media for about a year. She’s a menopause expert. She’s kind of wild, but I’ve gotten really good information from her. She has an entertaining podcast as well. Here’s her website: https://www.fitnchips.com/

Sorry I couldn’t be of more help. I hope you find relief very soon.
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Old 02-25-20, 12:43 PM  
BunnyHop
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
My perimenopause was complicated by a fibroid. I had all kinds of trouble. Sleeping difficulties, weight gain, night sweats, bleeding issues, blah, blah, blah.

If I had it to do again, besides switching OB/GYNs far sooner, I'd focus on cutting back on sugar and caffeine. I'm finding that I'm more sensitive to whatever they do to my body, and doing without or cutting way back is a help. I suspect that I had some nutritional deficiencies that went unacknowledged for a long time. Seriously feeling better these past few months.

Self care needs serious attention. Good sleep hygiene, social connection and support, exercise, sunlight (especially if you're prone to seasonal difficulties related to light levels), activities that are engaging (i.e., hobbies that really engage your imagination and attention), meditation and prayer. Nutritional support (good food, omega 3 and vitamin d) really matters too. Not gonna say more about that, beyond advising that you check your blood work and see if you need support.

I simply need less food than I used to just to maintain my weight. Living with/caring for my dad, I kept him company at the table because his appetite wasn't good, and my waistline paid the price. Eat as much as YOU need, then stop. A lot of the struggle for me was being out of touch from my own needs because I had to focus on him so much. I cannot be casual about soft drinks and sweet stuff as random snacks.

In general, evaluate your life and see where it's out of balance. Try to bring things back to a more even keel.

Let me add a bit about changing doctors: I never liked the OB/GYN I saw all through this process. With my dad so sick I really didn't have the presence of mind to put my foot down and switch. My surgeon was a good doctor and a caring person, but coping with her staff? Yikes. Fortunately, that's behind me now.
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Old 02-25-20, 02:02 PM  
Lori_Michigan
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaste View Post
I’m not on the other side yet. I can relate to some of what you’re experiencing. I’ve been following Amanda Thebe on social media for about a year. She’s a menopause expert. She’s kind of wild, but I’ve gotten really good information from her. She has an entertaining podcast as well. Here’s her website: https://www.fitnchips.com/

Sorry I couldn’t be of more help. I hope you find relief very soon.
Thanks for the link -- reading some of the comments on her blog are exactly what I have been going through and I don't feel so utterly alone. I just wish changing my diet didn't give me worse symptoms though. It's so bizarre, two years ago I was vegan and practically keto and could lift heavy and do high impact workouts. Now I'm struggling to even stay consistent with Leslie (which isn't a knock against lower workouts, I adore her), and with my cyclical headache days, I have a hard time eating anything other than crackers and ginger ale just to function.
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Old 02-25-20, 02:25 PM  
kittybug
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A billion hugs to you, Lori_Michigan. I'm following this thread with great interest due to my own struggles and thank you for starting it.
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Old 02-25-20, 10:54 PM  
BunnyHop
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lori_Michigan View Post
... I have a hard time eating anything other than crackers and ginger ale just to function.
I can so relate!

I wish I had some specific advice, but I really don't.

Oh, in the middle of the time during which I got a hysterectomy (to get rid of the fibroid), I also had digestive issues that were miserable. (didn't realize the abdominal pain I had for a year after my surgery was related to digestive issues, not the surgery. )

It's taken me a long time to get things under better regulation, but in my case, it didn't happen til my father's death gave me the freedom to make major modifications in the rest of my life. Things are better now, I'm on some stuff to help my digestive issues too, and I'm sleeping better ever since that issue got the treatment it needed.

I guess what all my rambling is trying to say is that I just had to keep chipping away at the problems I was having one by one until finding relief from a few things improved my overall situation so I could rest and make other good changes. It did take time. Changing doctors helped too, if nothing else to remove me from an environment that really didn't serve my needs.
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Old 02-26-20, 12:06 AM  
Sand
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Texas!
Thanks for this topic!

I've had Graves' Disease (hyperthyroidism) since my 20's, because of that I regularly see my doctor and have bloodwork taken. Absence of my cycle was a huge factor in my diagnosis and since then I have been tracking my cycles regularly.

As soon as I turned 42, I experienced an anovulatory cycle for the first time. I went to an OB/GYN and she put me on Lo Loestrin Fe. For the past year and a half, I've been dealing with uterine polyps and fibroids. My cycles used to be 3-4 days long and I have been dealing with 8 day cycles that are heavier than what they used to be. And I started spotting when I ovulate, which was never an issue before. I just had my endocrinological checkup in December and everything came back fine.

My mom was 52 when she entered menopause, I will turn 44 this year. Because of my Graves Disease, I'm already used to a lot of the symptoms associated with the transition. In addition to Graves' disease I also have other autoimmune issues.
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Old 02-26-20, 10:48 AM  
momofcha
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Illinois
Wow Lori, I’m so sorry about what you’re going through. I thought I had made it through. I went 16 months without a period. I am dealing with hypothyroidism and a great deal of inflammation. I had some blood work and my c reactive protein is quite high putting me at risk for heart disease. I decided enough is enough and started eating a TON of vegetables, more salmon, chicken and cutting way back on sugar and carbs. I spotted for about 3 days. Crazy, but after researching it does happen. Not sure if I have to start over with day 1 again.

I was lucky in that going through it I really only had hot flashes. I gained weight weekly as well. If the changes I am making don’t help with the scale moving down I’m not sure where to go next.

Hugs to everyone
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Old 02-26-20, 11:36 AM  
Rivercat
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Before my periods stopped in mid 2017, I had night sweats for over ten years (I'm 51). At the beginning they were all below my waist so I even cut a slit in a microfiber blanket "dutch door" style so I could just flip back the lower part as soon as the hot flash started and go back to sleep with my torso still covered Eventually they spread to full body and were quite disruptive to sleep for a while. Black cohosh worked for a bit but eventually stopped working. I rarely had hot flashes during the day, however.

Due to severe plantar fasciitis I was forced to stop running in 2017 as well and immediately put on a lot of weight that has been very difficult to shift, including around my stomach where I'd never really had an issue before. I also had symptoms of a thyroid condition and have been taking a supplement that seems to keep those under control. I had to switch insurance and my new GP is not the easiest to communicate with and is of the "once you lose weight, everything will be rainbows and unicorns" school of thought. And don't get me started on my new OB/GYN, who thankfully I won't need to see for another two years.

Now that my foot is better, I've been able to ease back into cardio though still not motivated to run. I'm currently doing the free Les Mills Body Combat Invincible series on YouTube and am seeing results, so that has been great for my overall attitude.
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