07-16-21, 11:28 AM | |
Exchange Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: PalmTreeVille
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annette, i am so sorry to hear about this situation that you're in. i echo what everyone has said.
not to detract from your situation, my married niece fostered two children from her husband's side of the family when the children were around 6-7 YO. the biological mother (i will call "Dana") of these two kids was severely drug dependent. i often got confused because dana would come around to family parties. i asked why is dana here? i thought if her kids were removed from her home she should be out of the picture? but because she was related to my niece's husband, dana felt free to attend parties. eventually, my niece and her DH legally adopted the 2 kids. today, 12 years later, these two kids have graduated from high school, work part time, and one of them is in community college. my niece was a SAHM, husband works in construction. her husband's side of the family is very dysfunctional. his family has other checkered people in his family - he's so different than his relatives it's surprising. the credit goes to my niece for holding everything together. she was in her late 20s when they fostered the children, and they have kids of their own born the same years as the fostered kids! we got a letter from CPS to help out with my DH's distant cousin's kids who live on another island. same situation - drug-dependent parents. my DH was not interested, and i wasn't sure how it would work from another island. i don't have regret in our decision to hold back, but i sometimes wonder what would have happened, and wonder how they're doing.
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~jeannine Miyagi: Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off. Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off. Don't forget to breathe, very important. [walks away, still making circular motions with hands] ~ Pat Morita, The Karate Kid, 1984 disclosure: in the years 2002-2004 i had a professional relationship with a distributor of fitness videos; see profile. |
07-16-21, 12:33 PM | |
VF Supporter
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Colorado Springs
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You have taken on an incredible burden and are a wonderful Aunt. The kids are lucky even if they don't know it yet.
This might be a time to go to a gym if there's an affordable one nearby. That way you could get away for an hour or so, which might give you a badly needed break from time to time. Maybe you could interest the 17 year old in doing some videos with you. You probably would not get the quality of workout you usually get, but it might help your relationship. The outdoor walks are a great idea. As someone else said, you might have some more time once school starts. You can vent here, but maybe find someone closer to home to talk to such as a counselor or member of clergy.
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"The two most powerful warriors are patience and time." Leo Tolstoy |
07-16-21, 02:03 PM | |
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Arkansas
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I have so many kids who are being raised by siblings, aunts, uncles, grand parents, even GREAT grand parents. And sadly there are some who couch surf. They come to school for food. You truly are making a difference in their lives. Thank you so much for doing this.
Take care of yourself.
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In a world where you can be anything, be kind. |
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