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Old 12-18-20, 10:34 AM  
Lori_Michigan
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Perimenopause Sucks -- Please Share Your Menopause Experiences!

I hope this fits within the check-in rules, but I am really struggling with perimenopause and hearing anyone else's stories (either current or past, and either peri or meno) really helps.

Short story -- 47, have had peri symptoms since 44ish (probably longer tho), have gained nearly 30 lbs since 2018, went from size 8 jeans to now only wearing size 16 jeggings, went from 36C bra to 44DD bra (huge and heavy, occasional pain), horrible digestion (gallbladder removed last year), two blood clots in 2019, anemia, BUT still having fairly regular cycles (although they are a few days shorter this year and flow has become shorter). Feels like constant PMS -- short temper around meal times, odd anxiety feelings through the day, feel hopeless most days about ever losing this weight or ever feeling normal again.

I still workout when I feel good enough (often only the first two weeks of my cycle) and then just walking/CS when I don't feel like doing anything. But since nothing has worked, some days I'm too depressed to bother doing anything.

I can't be the only one who feels like this, so please share what you're going through!
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Old 12-18-20, 12:09 PM  
Leela
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55. At 45 gained 15 pounds. Have struggled - my boobs went from C to DD.

As a child I was super skinny underweight, hit menarch at 14.5, and had no breasts until I was a senior in HS. I was depressed as hell about it and then puberty hit. At my 25th HS reunion (local to me and I finally thought it was time to go back despite being heavily bullied by racists in HS, I was asked who I was repeatedly and then I showed people in the YB, and they said 'did you get a boob job' (Drunk men). I said 'I hit puberty'. By then, I was a C cup and wore a very nice one shoulder dress.

The idea that I'd one day have a HUGE chest was not something I considered. I'm Indian american and my culture fat shames a lot. That said, I never dis my body in front of my daughters because they don't fat shame others or themselves, so YAY progress

In college I binge drank a ton.. so I gained 15 pounds and lost it when I went to my brother' surprise wedding in India (he went to visit and ended up getting married - a total shock). I had the flu and so slept a lot, and then ended up eating a small eating window daily. I lost all the extra weight in 3 weeks and came home a size 7. My first job started and eager to keep the weight off, I joined a gym (Joy of movement, boston) and walked a mile to and from the gym to work. Then I dated a jerk and stopped working out and lost weight due to. feeling depressed. I turned invisible my coworkers said and my breast cup size was an A. Nothing fit well.. size 2 pants, XS shirts.

Then I dumped jerk, and became what for me was healthy sized. Size 5-7, B cup.

Marriage packed weight on, and so did postpartum. Pregnancy made super sick and I lost so much body fat each time.

Still - 6-8 was my pants size - 8. after post partum eating, and then I'd lose it on WW and by working out.

Then at 45, 11 years after my first pregnancy started, I began to gain weight. This is 10 years ago and even then the wisdom of how I should eat hadn't been made clear - there was a lot of ridiculous corporate based incorrect recommendations on what to do.

Last year, I lost 10 pounds while delaying my meal. I tried to go keto, but can't stick to I t- my mom lives with us and I like her food. So instead - just kept a small eating window. And it worked. Then I lost my job, got bummed out and got terrified, so spent all my time online being able to do interviews (30 years software engineer - so I wasn't interview ready - had to relearn data structures, etc)

Then I got a job a few weeks later from an old team I used to work with, and it's a startup and so I need to get on board fast. And I did - but my health has suffered. I gained even more weight. So I gained 15 pounds. I am heavier than I ever have been. And yes - I hate it, and self-loathing is a brutal mistress.

I have been opening up to my 48 yo younger friend about my feelings and she with me, because if we don't admit to our toxic inner voice, we cant overcome her.

You are NOT ALONE. I recommend reading Dr Jason Fung's books - they are what helped me lose the weight last year. I am trying to get back to the eating window change which always works for me. And working out - that's never been a problem, except I did let fear of failure at my job let me guilt myself into working non stop. My daughter and I both suffer from imposter syndrome, so when we feel we need to learn or do something for work or school, we suffer for it.

Thanks for starting this check in. My 55th birthday is on the 28th and I am DoNE with this - done with self loathing, done with lack of exercise, done with not following what works. So I go back to eating window and daily workouts, and to tartarus with my work schedule.


OH, and I wanted to say. - at 48, my SIL killed herself. (The one from India - the marriage we didn't expect). Please please please watch out for yourself. Reach out. People love you. You are loved, valued and needed.
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Old 12-18-20, 12:44 PM  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lori_Michigan View Post
I hope this fits within the check-in rules, but I am really struggling with perimenopause and hearing anyone else's stories (either current or past, and either peri or meno) really helps.

Short story -- 47, have had peri symptoms since 44ish (probably longer tho), have gained nearly 30 lbs since 2018, went from size 8 jeans to now only wearing size 16 jeggings, went from 36C bra to 44DD bra (huge and heavy, occasional pain), horrible digestion (gallbladder removed last year), two blood clots in 2019, anemia, BUT still having fairly regular cycles (although they are a few days shorter this year and flow has become shorter). Feels like constant PMS -- short temper around meal times, odd anxiety feelings through the day, feel hopeless most days about ever losing this weight or ever feeling normal again.

I still workout when I feel good enough (often only the first two weeks of my cycle) and then just walking/CS when I don't feel like doing anything. But since nothing has worked, some days I'm too depressed to bother doing anything.

I can't be the only one who feels like this, so please share what you're going through!
Sending you (((hugs))) Lori. I’d recommend having a full blood work panel done to see where you’re body is at. One thing that comes to mind for me is thyroid issues.
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Old 12-18-20, 01:17 PM  
Lori_Michigan
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Thanks ladies, just hearing that others are dealing with this is encouraging.

I had every test run that insurance would allow last year -- thyroid was "normal". Estrogen and progesterone were also what they consider "normal" for my age. I had an MRI, numerous ultrasounds, tons of bloodwork. I even had to swallow a camera for my GI tract. All were fine. So I'm pretty much left with the umbrella of perimenopause...

My body has never handled estrogen well. Teen years were this exact way. Huge weight gain from 13-17. Huge breasts. Then birth control in my 20s made me gain weight. I lost a lot of weight in my mid-20s through working out and a low fat diet. But I could never maintain it. Always a struggle. Then I got married and went off the pill, and felt great finally at 30. Then I got pregnant and immediately gained weight and had horrible nausea for the first three months. I remember only being able to eat cookies most days.

Fast forward to 47 (but I think it started mid 44), I think these high estrogen surges in this portion of perimenopause are wreaking havoc on my entire body. I feel great when my estrogen is low -- the first two days of my period are great! I don't even have cramps (and barely ever have). I kind of feel like the opposite of everyone else.

I've tried numerous diet approaches, but I can't go low carb because I get terrible hypoglycemia. Everyone always says to go that route, but that route is just impossible for me. After my gallbladder surgery last year, my digestion has absolutely sucked. I have about 10 foods that I can tolerate now.

Forgot to add, I've been going to acupuncture every two weeks since June, but that isn't even helping. It did initially but now it's not doing much. I also make sure to keep my vitamin D level up with a UVB light and also tanning twice a week. I also use magnesium spray (I can't take it internally because of my digestive problems). I'm way too sensitive for any types of herbs, they all tend raise my estrogen even higher.

I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that my old life is gone and this may be the new normal for me for the next "X" amount of years. It's just so depressing.
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Old 12-18-20, 02:22 PM  
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Old Thread Alert!

*******Old Thread Alert******


Menopause vs. Just Plain Getting Older

http://forum.videofitness.com/showth...ight=menopause


I started that thread in 2014. I'm wondering if the folks who posted still feel the same way?

For me, I haven't slept right since peri-menopause. The weight gain did go away. I have bone loss, but my last DEXA was actually better.
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Old 12-18-20, 03:26 PM  
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Originally Posted by Vintage VFer View Post

For me, I haven't slept right since peri-menopause. The weight gain did go away. I have bone loss, but my last DEXA was actually better.
I’ve had a similar experience after a forced menopause at 50. My sleep is hit & miss, but better than it was 10 years ago. My recent dexa scan has me as borderline osteopenia, but it has improved slightly from the first one I had done after a fracture about 8 years ago.
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Old 12-18-20, 04:09 PM  
Lori_Michigan
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vintage VFer View Post
*******Old Thread Alert******


Menopause vs. Just Plain Getting Older

http://forum.videofitness.com/showth...ight=menopause


I started that thread in 2014. I'm wondering if the folks who posted still feel the same way?

For me, I haven't slept right since peri-menopause. The weight gain did go away. I have bone loss, but my last DEXA was actually better.
I read through that old thread, and I kind of remember it from 2014. At the time, I wasn't even thinking that 6 years from then I'd be having these horrendous symptoms. I'm glad that a lot of women haven't experienced the types of things I am. I guess I may be in the minority of sufferers who would label their symptoms as affecting their daily lives. But it looked like some people categorized the stage of peri that I'm in as the most troublesome, so that's encouraging.

In terms of sleep, I fall asleep quickly but then like clockwork I'm awake for a lot btwn 3-6 AM. I also get chills before bed a lot, but sometimes if I eat something really carby and salty they aren't as bad. No hot flashes at all for me, but I sometimes wake up in sweat (but I often have to wear double fleece pajamas and two pairs of heavy socks to bed because of my nightly chills). I really feel like I'm the complete opposite as a lot of ladies.
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Old 12-23-20, 02:35 PM  
Lori_Michigan
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Checking back in with anyone who's reading this, I guess I'll keep the ball rolling! If anyone has anything to share, I'd appreciate it. If not, no biggie.

I had a rough cycle this month, I used to have 30-dayish cycles, now they're 27-28 days, so still quite regular.

But I don't think my estrogen ever dropped this month, so it was a rollercoaster of symptoms. Perhaps others don't have the effects that I do from estrogen, but high levels are horrible for me.

Back to day 1 today, but at least my PMS symptoms aren't like they used to be. The week before used to be my "hell week" but now my "hell weeks" are right after my period ends all the way to when my ovulation time is over (which is around days 7-19 or even to day 22) and then around days 24/25. Days 25-28 aren't as horrible as they used to be just a few years ago. Odd. So ovulation time is now what I dread. I don't get many cramps with my period, I barely know it's there except for two heavy days and then it just wraps up with a huge headache. Argh.

I forgot to add that I have started adjusting my workouts to my cycle. First week when I feel good, I do harder stuff. Middle two weeks, crap shoot really, but mostly light weights and walking. Last week, again, total crap shoot, but a lot of walking and intervals, not much weights since my poor body can't take it.

I guess what I'd benefit from is knowing how long others had bad perimenopause symptoms before full fledged menopause? Like I feel like I've been living through hormonal hell since 44, so two and a half years now. I just wonder every day how much longer of these turbulent years I have yet to endure. Double argh.
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