Thanks to everyone for responding and offering support and words of comfort.
Friday was a real low point emotionally - I did 2 miles with Leslie and was still very down
I did Firm Prime Power Fat Burning Saturday and really enjoyed it. I have all the Firms and have enjoyed replacing my old vhs as Fitness Favorites puts them on dvd.
Sunday I did a couple miles with Leslie and enjoyed it.
I looked up an old post from last year right after we lost my fiance's brother and I was doing a Jari/Leslie rotation to get me through. Maybe I'll take a hiatus from my usual Firms. ??
When we lost his brother 11/25/11 - it was a shock - and I think I spent all my energy caring for my fiance. My fiance found his brother just after he shot himself and was still alive. I had hoped so much that my fiance would make it through the loss, but he didn't - when my fiance passed 11/15/12 it was after hospitalization, hospice for a month - even though I had time to prepare - the hurt is amazingly more than a year ago. It was such a cruel and ugly death - that is what hurts the most. I hope to start counseling soon.
I really think my workouts helped me tremendously last year but even though this year I'm still working out - their not providing the comfort & release like they did before. I also tend to always think things will get better quickly - so maybe I need to focus on one day at a time, one workout at a time.
Thanks all for listening and reading. I know this is all TMI - and I appreciate your kindness.
Also - my sympathies to everyone that lost loved ones too.