What is wrong with me?

[Gemini2874]

Holy cow...this perimenopause is a b*tch!! I am moody, can't sleep, and change my mind CONSTANTLY. My latest incident.......I, recently, complained on here about "hating" Jessica Smith strength workouts and saying I was sick of her. Then, immediately started doing the rotation for the Walk On: 21 Day Weight Loss plan. But, that wasn't enough. To prove my current insane mental state, today I went and ordered the 6 week transformation series (Walk Strong) and the other 2 discs for Walk Strong 2 (I already had one of them). OMG. I feel like I am losing my mind!!! I change my mind faster than you can blink. It's scary!!!! Yesterday, I cried at a laundry detergent commercial. What the hell!!! I am horrified what I will be like when menopause finally arrives!!!

I do have one plus though...since I couldn't lose weight (my body said "hell, no, b*tch), I have learned to accept my current weight. I am either a size 16 or 18 and weight about 200-204 pounds at 5'7". I learned to love myself and I learned I am enough. I am worthy. There is nothing wrong with me and the diet industry is not going to profit off of me anymore. I learned to focus on what my body CAN DO and not on what it looks like. So, that part has been life changing (the one and the ONLY good thing about perimenopause!!). I am the most confident I have ever been. I am now focused on fitness and NOT a number on a scale.

Ok, sorry for my rant. I just dropped almost $100 on new workout Dvds. I am hopeful my mind stays focused so I am able to do these before the "wind changes"!!!!! Wish me luck!!!!!