The help I get from VF
 

I don't often post but I really wanted to say a huge thank you to those who post here on VF. You have helped me enormously.

Specifically, recently, it was a post in a results/losing weight thread. I tend to avoid these post like the plague but I clicked anyway.

And someone posted about not being too hard on themselves. About recognizing that it's a journey and maybe the weight gain etc just reflects other things that are going on in your life. And when you are ready you can tackle the weight gain and fitness but for now it's okay to choose easier workouts and cut yourself some slack.

This was a light bulb moment post for me. Last year was beyond difficult for me and though I have kept on pushing with my workouts I have also had not enough sleep, overwork, much stress and much comfort eating.

I had been nagging myself. But now I realize that I can be kind. It was a tough year. I gained some weight. It's ok.

And starting from that premise of being kind to myself, I am also realizing that some things in my life are calming down and I have started back on the road of healthy eating and am continuing my workouts - but, no, not all if them have to be hard.

I'm on a weight loss and taking care of self mission and now doing this from self love not self castigation. So thank you,VF!

(And very sorry for this long winded post!)

Anny - What a great post. I'm glad you found the help you needed in that message and hope your message encourages someone else.

Which thread was this Anny? Totally what I need to be reading because I'm in the same boat. I've been pretty successful up until now, 65 pounds lost, but I started another semester of grad school in January and I've got alot going on, working full time, the two classes, in addition to trying to lose more weight which anyone knows is a full time job in and of itself with the planning and cooking meals and tracking what I'm eating and workouts and whatnot. I spend late nights working on school assignments but then try to drag myself out of bed for early morning workouts. I'm cranky, tired, stressed. And I'm actually hurting myself, my knees are angry with me, I've tweaked my right elbow. ugh.

I'm trying to stay focused, but the stress has me eating things I shouldn't be so I've been gaining and losing the same few pounds for two months now. I've been trying to make everything my #1 priority, but it just isn't happening and I'm feeling like such a failure. I am VERY hard on myself. "Why can't you do this?" is what seems to be on repeat in my head every day. Its like a broken record, seriously.

I KNOW I should be kind to myself. I tell others who are struggling with weight loss to be kind to themselves, but why can I do that for myself? It's a mystery I tell you.

I'm glad you got the help you needed here Anny. VFers are great enablers (!!) but they also offer sound advice because there is guaranteed to be someone here who's been through exactly what you're going through. Your post here is totally encouraging for me. Tells me that its ok to struggle. It's ok to relax and come back to the weight loss and workouts later if that's what I need to do. The semester is almost over so I can get back to it then. Thanks for your post Anny. :)

Anny, honey, I think that that was my post. Someone had to tell me that, too. Life is so much sweeter now.

Fall of 2008 through 2009 was a tough time for me. I was in a car accident in August 2008 and suffered a concussion and a horrible shoulder injury, especially for a (now former) swimmer. I had post-concussive syndrome for six months, and cried constantly. When I came through the concussion's effects, I had to deal with shoulder pain that had been misdiagnosed as an overuse injury, and when I switched doctors, I finally had surgery in May 2009. When I was recovering, my 11 year-old son looked at me and said, "What's wrong with you? Why are you so happy?" I realized that I was happy because I was at a job I had grown to hate, and I realized that I hadn't really come to grips with how much I hated that job. I quit in August 2009 and opened my own business. I left a good job in a bad economy.

And that's when I gained weight. 10 pounds to be exact. And after I complained bitterly about gaining weight, that's when my trainer told me what I wrote on the forum. She was right. I could only handle so much. Let me tell you how it ends -- and I'll warn you, it's not with losing the weight.

Flash forward to April 2012. I still have that 10 pounds, but let me tell you, I look great. I sleep at night. I love what I'm doing; I was always meant to be my own boss. I am in great shape. I look younger. And I am happy. I had not realized the constant stress that led to my being 10 pounds lighter, and I had not realized how exercising like a damn college athlete to keep myself 10 pounds lighter really wasn't a great idea for a woman in her 40s. Would I like to have thinner thighs? Sure. But sleeping at night, having a family that loves me (and that I don't drive crazy), and feeling like I am doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing seems like a more than fair trade for wearing a certain size of jeans.

So, my trainer was right. Once I was able to get past myself, do what I could, and focus on what I needed to do at the time, I found myself and my love of training again. Actually, it was a lot like Shrek, where Shrek kisses Fiona and Fiona stays an ogre. She says "But I was supposed to be beautiful." And Shrek says "You are beautiful to me." It wasn't about the 10 pounds, Anny. It was about my life, and my health, and my happiness.

Good luck, sweetie. Hang in there.

Thankyou for posting this! I think a lot of us are way too hard on ourselves, and it is so good to hear the humanness of others. That is something so wonderful and beautful about this site and when it brings me sanity so often!

I lost well over 80 lbs over a few years. And last year's stress and stress eating means I have gained back about 20. But now I feel I am back on track simply because I'm treating myself kindly. Not how could you have gained weight but okay it was a tough year lets make gentle plans and move ahead. I am confident now that I can lose that which I've gained, slowly. So thanks for all the help! And Cammie Cam hope this helps you! xx

That's such a great lesson! Thank you for reminding the rest of us of it. :D

I am reviving this thread because it is so positive and uplifting. It reminds us about how valuable the VF community is, and to be kind to ourselves and each other. We all need some support and kindness these days.

Oh my gosh, I love this thread! So many valuable lessons and experiences! :heart: