Article Link "How your family shapes your body image" [BBC Future]

[Gams]

When I was teaching dance, I had a class of 5 and 6-year-olds and there was one student who was much heavier than the others. I was really worried about ordering costumes for our recital because there were no costumes that came in a children’s XS and and an adult XL. I wasn’t sure what to do because I didn’t want to upset her in anyway. I ended up buying her a costume that was the same color but a different style. I worried it would make her feel different, but everything turned out okay because she LOVED her costume and wanted to wear it all the time.

[hch]

Originally Posted by toaster

Henry, ITA that we shouldn't get locked into "shoulds" based on body type, size, or shape - I'm pretty resistant to black and white thinking. On the other hand, my body is shaped roughly like a pear - it is what it is!

I can understand the idea--I'm probably more reticent than other people are about separating people into categories that are a little too discrete.

(I also have to admit that for aesthetic reasons, I'm glad that having a big booty is much more in vogue than it was when I was in high school! )

I'd like even more if the general population's acceptance and the like were based on something more stable than shifting fashions.

Even before I read your post, I remembered the insistence, which I'm not seeing much anymore, that a larger lower body was "disproportionate" if it didn't fit so well into conventional women's fashion or, I guess, led to a need to buy separates in different "sizes" for upper and lower body. Conventional men's fashion has long differed in a way that I've always appreciated--I wasn't expected to buy dresswear with my suit jacket and pants in "the same size." (Don't even get me started on the concept of a "size 0"!)

The idea of judging one's body size by a standard of how well it fit widely available clothing has long struck me like an idea of calling skin, well, "discolored" or something if it didn't match a bandage or ballet shoes.

So family can shape our body image, for good or for otherwise, but neither we nor our families live in a vacuum.

More replies later!

[toaster]

Originally Posted by hch

Even before I read your post, I remembered the insistence, which I'm not seeing much anymore, that a larger lower body was "disproportionate" if it didn't fit so well into conventional women's fashion or, I guess, led to a need to buy separates in different "sizes" for upper and lower body. Conventional men's fashion has long differed in a way that I've always appreciated--I wasn't expected to buy dresswear with my suit jacket and pants in "the same size." (Don't even get me started on the concept of a "size 0"!

I definitely agree with all of your points, and I agree that we shouldn't change our bodies to fit with clothing standards. But I have to correct you a bit on exactly what the frustration is that larger-booty women face! (And it's not dress/formal wear, it's casual wear.)

Manufacturers of women's clothing can't seem to get it into their heads that main women have proportionally smaller waists and much larger hips and thighs (e.g., "pear shape"). Although this is a common body type for women, it's very hard to fit things like jeans, pants, etc. - you may have heard of the dread "gap" in the back of pants that don't fit the waist. It's gotten a little better, with some clothing manufacturers recognition the need for this.

I know men have fashion issues too. For example, DH is a small guy, and it's hard for him to find clothing to fit him - most shirts in size S are too long on him. And I know tall slim guys have similar issues, as manufacturers assume taller means bigger.

It would be wonderful if tailored clothing was the norm, including being affordable and easily accessible to all!

[prettyinpink]

Originally Posted by toaster

Manufacturers of women's clothing can't seem to get it into their heads that main women have proportionally smaller waists and much larger hips and thighs (e.g., "pear shape"). Although this is a common body type for women, it's very hard to fit things like jeans, pants, etc. - you may have heard of the dread "gap" in the back of pants that don't fit the waist. It's gotten a little better, with some clothing manufacturers recognition the need for this.

I know men have fashion issues too. For example, DH is a small guy, and it's hard for him to find clothing to fit him - most shirts in size S are too long on him. And I know tall slim guys have similar issues, as manufacturers assume taller means bigger.

It would be wonderful if tailored clothing was the norm, including being affordable and easily accessible to all!

All of this.

Need bigger size pants to fit hips means you have waist gap. Belts can only do so much.

I think it’s a LOT better now, but I say that as someone older who is middle class and has a lot of resources and flexibility on where to shop. If options are more limited, I think it might be more frustrating. With online shopping, you can find a brand that fits better and stick with it, not be limited to what’s in your immediate area. Also more companies, quite a few years ago, began to have more options for trousers and jeans that were cut in different ways for slightly different body types.

But I agree the bigger issue is lack of sewing abilities, and lack of tailoring. I don’t think my parents’ generation ever expected that things would fit well off the rack! Girls in particular could sew — another sexist relic, when everyone could benefit from basic sewing skills— and often made their own clothes, where they cut and adjusted patterns to fit themselves. Clothing purchased at department stores could be tailored with in-house services, and actually that still is done for high-end places and formal wear. My first suit in my 20’s was tailored, and it was just at a regular mid-level suburban department store.

Now most of us are generally walking around in clothes that don’t fit and flatter as well as they could. In that way, maybe the transition to wearing more knits and stretchy clothes just makes sense, though I’m not sure that’s the most flattering, either. But that gets more into personal taste and fashion sense.

[toaster]

Originally Posted by prettyinpink

Now most of us are generally walking around in clothes that don’t fit and flatter as well as they could. In that way, maybe the transition to wearing more knits and stretchy clothes just makes sense, though I’m not sure that’s the most flattering, either. But that gets more into personal taste and fashion sense.

I definitely agree with all you said - great perspective about more people previously making their own clothing!

I turn 56 next month, and my fit challenges include accommodating smaller waist, larger hips/butt/thigh, and now the bonus of a post-meno body. So yes, stretching clothing is my friend! I do search for pants that have a tailored look but still have at least a partial elastic waist - I have a lot of "work appropriate" yoga pants (flowing, not fitted).

[hch]

Originally Posted by toaster

But I have to correct you a bit on exactly what the frustration is that larger-booty women face!

Thanks for the detail, I do remember finding--off VF and some years ago--some discussions of clothing size with complaints like "I wear size X for my upper body and size X+Y for my lower body," with undertones of "...and clothing sizes are evidence of how my lower body needs trimming." If I did read it correctly at the time (and if I remember it correctly now ), I wonder if that memory reflects a smaller, possibly skewed, somewhat dated sample.

(And it's not dress/formal wear, it's casual wear.)

And my mention of dresswear didn't have quite enough context, oops! I was thinking about what I've seen buying and trying men's clothing.

At least in my experience, clothing that's more casual has tended to be labeled with more generic sizes, like "S" or "XL," sometimes with a number range (like plain T-shirts intended as undershirts). Clothing that's more tailored (not necessarily dresswear, but I think especially of this example because of the fit) tends to have a bit more detail, like pants with inseam or shirts with sleeve length. I notice especially because I have somewhat unusual body proportions. I usually can find clothing that fits, though sometimes I've needed to browse longer than other shoppers have needed to, and I'm happy to find this information on the tags.

I wouldn't usually talk about non-workout clothing in this much detail on VF --I'm doing so here because I've wondered about a few things with at least an indirect fitness relationship.

Some of those thoughts surround how much people identify themseleves with a clothing size and how much other clothing-related issues send messages (intended or not) about people's bodies.

Another of those thoughts slightly unsettles me: what messages might I have gotten under different circumstances?

In a recent thread about dance and body image, I mentioned reading about an older woman who'd absorbed a message, while young, that her height wasn't "feminine." To hide her height a bit, she learned to slump and slouch, and years later she was asking for help about the resulting pains.

I especially remember this story because of the contrast with my own life. I'm slightly taller than the average US man. My torso is proportionally long, such that my sitting height is especially tall. (I've had jackets that otherwise fit well, but they were too short in the torso.) What if I'd gotten some message that I was "too tall" and needed to slouch to be more presentable? I'd like to think that I wouldn't believe those messages, but no one should need to hear them either.

[hch]

Originally Posted by Gams

When I was teaching dance, I had a class of 5 and 6-year-olds and there was one student who was much heavier than the others. I was really worried about ordering costumes for our recital because there were no costumes that came in a children’s XS and and an adult XL. I wasn’t sure what to do because I didn’t want to upset her in anyway. I ended up buying her a costume that was the same color but a different style. I worried it would make her feel different, but everything turned out okay because she LOVED her costume and wanted to wear it all the time.

Thanks for sharing! It's good that things worked, and you didn't do a number of not-so-good things that I can imagine someone else doing.